SELLING OUT . . . What is the modern meaning of "selling out" these days? I used to tout the fact that I would 'Neeeeeeeeeeeeeever sell out!" Selling out was a sin. It was a lowering of one's standards. It was crossing the picket line of integrity and good taste. Looking back, I think I was setting myself up for a life of hardship, debt and privation by holding onto my arrogant and self-righteous claim.
I had girlfriends who 'sold out' and left our modern dance company to dance in 'Gentleman's Clubs.' (One went on the Vegas.) A couple of my girlfriends admitted they would never settle for anything less than a man who was very financially well of. (Which, by the way, my romantic ideals of love left me a single mother, while 'some' of my girlfriends are living in houses too big to clean - but that's what their housekeepers are paid for.) I swore if I ever went into show business I would never be in a commercial for something like hemorrhoid cream or that bad fire breath. I held strong to the belief that one day people would appreciate my ancient poetry and poetic prose because to admit I could write a mean Sara Lee jingle would be a nightmare in the literary community!
Well, well, well, could I have been wrong all along? I mean, maybe writing instruction manuals and information guides could have led to publishing my first book!
I am questioning my old beliefs, re-examining my ethics, morals and standards - maybe they are all TOO high.
My question has changed from, "What would I do for love?" to "What would I do for money?"
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
On Becoming My Own Product
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5 comments:
Lindy,
I loved this post! Money is such a huge force and I've never really started to value it until recently and subsequently have gotten taken advantage of a lot because of my lack of interest and general fear of the subject. Now, optimist that I am, I think you can do both artistically -- stay true to doing what you feel is important and do commerical work to support it. Hell, I'd sell out if anybody was buying what I was offering! Keep fighting the good fight with this one.
The eternal optimist till my last dieing breath...it has to be love rather than money. And I may die one broke ass bitch in regards to money.
But Lindy....I am so rich with family, friends, stories. On my best days there is nobody on this earth that can top my wealth.
The bills somehow get paid. They always have. Fuck the big house. I have friends with those, and they have their problems, too.
You are admired for your kind heart...it's the reason I keep coming back to your blog. Just keep following it.
Money isn't everything, but it sure does help. That being said, don't change your whole value system for the sake of having more money. People with money have their own set of problems and at least us broke people know that our friends are our friends because of who we are and not because of our social status or what we can give them.
I have no ethics. If the military industrial complex wanted me to write a short piece for propaganda purposes I would....I would..I would have to say yes. Yes. I am a whore. I am a total prostitute. I will put on high heels, makeup, and do whatever they want.
You want me to prove it? Offer me some money and I'll send you a price list.
I'm becoming more of a pragmatist here, too. It's obviously not the money that's valuable, it's the time and space that money helps with -- less slaving, more travel and more solitude, too. Here's to more money, but whatever means seem effective at the time.
Salud!
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