worlds apart

My life is
not of this world.

I wear the dress, the lip stick, the face.
Speak the words, walk the walk, keep the pace.

At times I get lonely.
And at those times I indulge in the role-
so well so
that even I forget what's real-
absorbed in the comforts -
conformity's embrace
her arms like an octopus.

My house is slipping out of order.
Everything around me-losing its place.
Socks in with t-shirts
Pencils in with the lipsticks
Acquaintances in with my friends . . .
Friends in with my people.

My worlds are colliding.

I am dizzied by the imbalance.
I am flattened by the squeeze.
I am flipping the apple cart and watching it all roll away.

My world - her light barely visible from the thickness of this atmosphere.

She calls my name . . . calls me home.

And I alone, hear the call.
And I alone, must answer.

and me in my kerchief

and I in my cap

have just settled our hearts down

for a long winter's nap.

Hoping Santa doesn't forget...

...because merry-go-round-and-round is not so merry

I love roller-coasters.

I have never enjoyed the rides that go around and around and around . . . making me dizzy, upsetting my stomach. The same images blurring by me again and again and again. Screaming to get off - I've had enough.

I like the butterflies, the adrenaline rush before every curve and dip, the excitement when I've reached the highest points . . . and the magnificent view from the top.

The once around. And when it's over - I get back in line to experience it all over again - because no two rides are ever the same.

I never saw that twinkling light on the top of water tower before.

Love . . . corralled and stabled

Love . . . corralled and stabled.

I keep it close these days.

It escaped once;

Wild horses running -

like they've never felt the wind in their manes before;

like they've never kicked the dirt up so high under their feet before.

Galloping

unbridled,

without thought or contemplation.

A heroic sight.

A breathtaking plight.

And then

came, the fall -

broken legs, blood, pain

and yet, I could not bear to shoot

and yet nothing was the same.

"All The Wild Horses"

All the wild horses
All the wild horses
Tell her with tears in their eyes
May no man's touch ever tame you
May no man's reigns ever chain you
And may no man's weight ever defrayed your soul
And as for the clouds
Just let them roll
Roll away
Roll away
As for the clouds
Just let them roll
Roll away
Roll away

Ray Lamontagne

Distortion

Jessica Simson, the most recent (celebrity) woman to be attacked and accused of hiding her mortal, human skeleton (and soul) behind healthy, beautiful, protective, mortal HUMAN flesh. The names of Jennifer Love Hewitt and Trya Banks (to name a very few) have also appeared on the ongoing and ever growing list of women (particularly celebrity women) who have been accused and attacked for the same dysfunctional society's social crime. I am sure that in this very moment; somewhere in the United States (where our Hollywood standards for women vs what real, healthy women look like are the equivalent to Disney vs the Brothers Grimm . . . worlds apart) a young girl is doing something to ensure she will fit inside the tiny plastic mold of the ideal woman as she grows (but shrinks). And somewhere else in the United States - a young woman is dying or has died from an eating disorder.
And we all must take responsibility for this thinking. Every time a woman strives to live up to these airbrushed, photo-shopped, nutritionally starved, cosmetically altered (NOT enhanced, for enhancing is completely different than altering) . . . every time . . . we give POWER to the image and take the POWER from ourSelves.
Every unnecessary piece of clothing we strip from our bodies in order to expose more and more flesh to the world (for profit and for vanity) - we also strip away at ourSelves and our souls. This may sound prudish to some - but that is only because our standards have bottomed out - we have lost our class and our self-respect. I am not referring to art . . . I am referring to INTENT - the intent behind our actions and our thoughts.
I don't have to say more. Not only because I don't have the words to express my sadness, my anger and my outrage for this modern day 'witch hunt,' but rather because there is nothing more to say. It's preposterous - contrary to nature, reason, and common sense. It is absurd.
I don't want to partake in a society that thinks this way.
I don't want to live in a society that thinks this way.
I am ashamed of this society.
If we, as a society, do not collectively shift our thoughts about body image, and return to love, acceptance and GRATITUDE for our outer shells, our God-given flesh and bones . . . the temples of our SOULS - then I wish not to participate in this ill-minded, man made society.

Letting

The palms of my hands opened
and out they flew.
After all these years
They were still there -
Call it a miracle.
Or call it a miracle I opened my palms.

Stop and Hear the Flowers

. . . and smell the music.






For a ticket price of approximately $100.00, one can attend Boston's Symphony Hall to hear world renowned musician-violinist, Joshua Bell, play one of the most intricate classical pieces ever written - Bach - with his handcrafted 1713 Stradivarius violin (worth 3.5 million).
For a price of approximately $100.00, one can transcend the minutus details of daily life and immerse oneself in the beauty and the splendor of the sound of art.
For $100.00, one can STOP to smell the music.
But, apparently, without this price attached, one is blind and deaf and dumb and, well, just too preoccupied and busy to actually see and hear and appreciate Joshua Bell play incognito, on a busy Washington DC metro during rush hour.
He played for 45 minutes. Only about six or seven people stopped to take notice, mostly children. His biggest fan, a six-year-old boy, was quickly whisked away by his mother. Twenty people threw money in a till - a total of $35.00. Only one person recognized him. And when Joshua completed playing the six intricate pieces by Bach . . . the familiar sounds of silence (except for the noises in their heads) comforted the ears of the passengers. No applause. No recognition. Silence.
This was all part of a social and marketing experiment by Gene Weingarten two years ago today; January 12, 2007, proving that people will designate one of two identical items as being distinctly better than the other simply because it is packaged or presented more attractively.
Weingarten set the event as an ,"experiment in context, perception and priorities - as well as an unblinking assesment of public taste: in a banal setting at an inconvenient time, would beauty transcend?"

Understanding

Yes . . . I UNDERSTAND.
For ten years I have been gathering knowledge and sowing its seeds.
For ten years I have been in the knowning. But knowing is NOT understanding.
I NOW understand
and the pieces are coming together.
I am still assimilating the all of it
. . . I am still descending upon the planet.
I AM ALIVE AND LIFE IS GOOD.
I AM . . . forever grateful

Painting Myself into Existence

Finding myself within the stone . . . painting myself into existence . . . such is life . . . such is reality.

Waiting to Bloom

The magnolias have bloomed! I have not. Last year served to prune me back to near nothing. My roots have kept me breathing and silently living. My dormancy has proved to have been a much needed rest from the constant desire to flower.
I am well. I will continue to blog and write when I have something to say. For now, I am silent; I watch nature's mystical, magical changes as they embrace me, affect me, inspire me and speak to me.

Happy Spring. Happy Blooming.

The Philosophy of a Dog: During our walks; Emmy walks along side of me without a leash. I keep the leash in my hand and quickly snap it to her collar if and when we near passersby. When we get closer to the home, I remove her collar altogether. I noticed; when I remove her collar, she runs about as if she had just been freed. I realized . . . it's not the leash that restrains the dog, but the wearing of the collar. Mmmmm????

Carpe diem

Lovely Sunday here in Detroit . . .
Seizing the day

That is Canada across the lake

Emmy and I are enjoying this DAY
Tonight is 'taken me out to the ball game.' Let's hope I can be some kind of a 'good luck charm' for the Tigers!

The Nature of Me

I was born in Detroit, Michigan. I was nurtured here. I grew up here. Detroit is my native soil; the perfect balance of minerals, alkalinity, water and sunlight that nurtured my body from infancy into adulthood. This is where my feet first walked the streets. This is where my childhood memories live. This is where, long ago, I buried things in an unmarked grave. This is the sacred place where the Earth mothered me into physical existence. Detroit is my home . . . no matter how far I roam. My roots begin here. And this is where I return when I seek the comfort of familiarity; when I need homemade chicken soup; when my ears long to hear the foghorn of a Lake Michigan lighthouse; when I am missing certain ingredients essential to my growing forward. Detroit in my nurturing force. Detroit is my sure thing.

Greece . . . is my spiritual motherland; the place my soul finds solace, answers and then, more questions. Greece is where the muses dance around me and where my feet also dance. It is here where I first heard my life calling me - in a tongue foreign to my ears yet understood by my heart. This is where my true nature was born; where I originate; where my creativity laughs from the belly. This is the place from where I can see eternity atop a limestone hill; where my ancient umbilica remains connected to the amniotic fluids of the Aegean Sea; and where I have yet to unbury all the mysteries of me. Greece is where I come when my canvas has become muddied from color on color and needs to be alabastered white again; when the world is so loud that I cannot hear my own voice. This is where I come when a solo clarino - clarinet, a glass of Retsina and a cotton dress is all that is needed to have my heart leaping with joy.
When I ventured away from Detroit to find what fates awaited me, it was then that I thought I had found Greece . . . but I found I had never really left Greece. And she never left me.
It was in Greece where my growing pains matured into wisdom and where I began to understand the knowledge I had collected from my experiences and education.
The nature and the nurture of life; we need to respect them both and love them equally if we are to have the ultimate experience and honor of birthing ourSelves.

Pythia is preparing to emerge from her womb after a long, quite, beautiful pregnancy.
Spring is just a few longitudes and latitudes away.

YOU HAD ME AT “HELLO . . . “ THIRTY-SIX YEARS AGO

Just when I thought I had packed my teenage obsession with Todd Rundgren away with my jean cutoff short-shorts (the ones with the butterfly patch sewn onto the bum – the ones I couldn’t wear around my dad); my roller skating jersey; my gold wrap around snake arm bracelet; my emotionally blown out mood ring; and the dried-up powder blue carnation - a corsage from my first formal Junior High School dance (FYI: it will always be “Junior High,” not “Middle School,” to my generation) . . .

Just when I thought by packing away my old LP’s and 45’s in exchange for CD’s and Mp3’s; (cassettes – not worth mentioning - came and went with little hoopla; 8 tracks were alright, but I never really bought into them much) . . .

Just when I thought by growing three babies into adulthood; by finally committing to wearing sunscreen, faithfully; and by accepting the fact that my last name would never be Rundgren . . .

Just when I thought I had come to see Todd through the eyes of a fully matured, real woman (as I wrote about last November 2006 when I saw him perform with The New Cars). . .

And just when I thought IT WOULDN’T HAVE MADE ANY DIFFERENCE at this point in my life . . . he comes to town in his familiar, charming, silly, witty, intelligent and incredibly talented Todd way . . . turning up the heat (without the needed aid of a warm-up band) in a small corner of Detroit on a minus twenty degree Fahrenheit night . . . and twists my plot.

By the time I enter The Magic Bag, promptly at eight o’clock for doors, having stood outside in a line, a smile is already frozen to my face. And, even after I melt, it remains. I can’t help myself. I admit it’s a bit over the top for me to carry on this way. But it feels so good. It feels like all those years, all that time elapsed, every trial and tribulation along the way were erased in one fell swoop (and swoon) for one evening and one day of afterglow. I am, once again, in my skinny, prepubescent twelve year old body, sitting Indian-style on my bedroom floor, brown braids running down my shoulders, burning Nag Champa (wait, I still do that) and playing Todd albums over and over and over again on my record player. Even the mention of ‘record player’ feels electrifying. (But since plugs were not polarized back then, that may be adding to some of my ‘memory electric’).

So, here I am with about three-hundred people: loyal fans of four decade's worth of music (and An Elpee's Worth of Toons). Todd is our number one highest common factor and, per his request, our No. 1 LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR (tongue in cheek symbol inserted here. TR fans will understand). We have gathered together on this thirtieth day of January in the eighth year of the third millennium for an up close and personal, “Freeze Your Ass Off” tour. Some of us are seated at tables, others chose to stand, in this big living room atmosphere; drinking, singing, laughing and swaying our hips when we couldn't help ourselves any longer. We converse with Todd from our seats and he banters back at us about our city’s recent embarrassing political scandal, his non-political-non -endorsing-political-views, religion, public MySpace secrets, and other common dinner table conversation topics. He strums his music into existence and sings to us from his soul . . . he is our most gracious and generous host. And, he is a huge talent on a dangerously small stage, as he quickly finds out when “some of his best guitar riff footwork” during “Buffalo Grass” - the first song on the set list - almost sends him into the Snare of drummer Prairie Prince . . . a mere two steps behind him. Todd has always been too big to be limited by space or time . . . too big to be held down by gravity.

His set list included a little something from the past three decades - dating back to 1970 up to the new millennium - with a little more Something/Anything than anything else: He played Black Maria, SLUT, and one of his signature hits; I Saw The Light. As big of a hit as that song was and as much as I loved it back in 1972 . . . nothing has changed. It is a timeless piece of musical beauty and my heart remembered its every note. Todd surprised me with No. 1 Lowest Common Denominator, but not until after he half joked about seeing the young looking “angelic face shoved right up front.” Lowest Common Denominator is a sexually metaphorical song (electric eel and great equalizer) that includes a recitation of an erotic ‘poem of love.’ Todd continues; “I know for a frickin’ fact that this is not an all ages show, ergo, we may speak frankly because the thing I hate is being the first one to give your youngins a talk . . . You’re cramping my style!”

Even though he played for almost three hours, (he really put his heart and soul into his playing - he was energetic, passionate . . . phenomenal on the guitar! He was having a lot of fun with it.) he could not possibly include all of his many songs, or even all of his many hits. He did not have a keyboard with him on stage and did not do some of his pop hits like, “Hello It’s Me,” and “A Dream Goes On Forever,” and “It wouldn’t Have Made Any Difference,” to name just a few. But, we didn’t come to see Todd to hear Todd imitate Todd . . . (that's what separates the real man fans from the boys) for he is in a constant state of metamorphosis and evolution and I’m surprised he even has a set list at all.

He truly is A Wizard A True Star who landed right here at The Magic Bag on the (OOPS) right PLANET, bringing us a glimpse of Utopia and casting his musical spell and wizardry over us - his tireless, faithful fans – by kindly reversing the clock (much like Superman) and restoring to us our youthfulness and our original heads of lustrous, pigmented hair . . . if only in our own minds . . . and if only for one night.

Of course, on stage, Todd could not play every instrument and sing every part himself as he can do in studio and did on three of the four sides of his third solo album: Something /Anything circa 1972. So, he was in the company of three respected, accomplished, talented musicians: Extremely gifted drummer (and artist) - Prairie Prince - who banged out beats for The Tubes; Jefferson Starship, The New Cars and created a solid foundation . . . a canvas for audible art (He has also recorded in studio with Todd and Brian Eno, David Byrne, to name a few); guitarist extraordinaire, performer, educator, author and former music editor of Guitar Player, Jesse Gress who really rocked that stage and impressed all of us with his amazing skill and talent; and bass guitarist – Kasim Sulton.

Kasim (who also blogs a journal ) is highly recognized for his incredible talent as a musician (which is more than obvious when you see him live) singer, songwriter and producer. He has worked with a diverse group of musical artists from Meat Loaf, Patti Smith, Joan Jett and Mick Jagger, to Hall and Oates, Celine Dion, and Patty Smyth. But of course, me being the Todd fan I am, I recognize and appreciate him most for his thirty something years with Todd Rundgren and Todd’s band Utopia. Kasim has a seemingly effortless way of playing . . . as if the instrument is a natural extension of his fingers. He also has a palpable charismatic charm that could do serious damage to the female heart. His name should really be Kasim Sultry . . . because he oozes passion and sensuality. I admit, I was taken by his charm and, of course, his amazing talent, although I tried very hard to resist his hypnotizing eye contact. I won’t say whether or not my efforts worked.

Please, God, I do not want to trade one obsession in for another . . . although, really, I am not obsessed in an unhealthy, crazy way with Todd . . . only another tried-and-true fan would understand my loyalty and passion. By tried-and-true fan, I mean someone who, when they think of TR, the first thing that comes to their mind is NOT only ‘Hello It’s Me.” Like Zappa, Rundgren chose truth to Self and heart over pop culture and top forty. And for that . . . I thank him.

Rundgren Radio

The following is taken from the IMDb website. I do not take credit for the content nor do I take responsibility for inaccuracies. I included it purely for its interesting information.

Mini Biography

Considered by many to be the "Ultimate Rock Cult Hero", Todd Rundgren has maintained a legion of fans through four decades, rivaled only by The Grateful Dead. Todd was raised in the Philadelphia (Pennsylvania) area, and his first professional bands, Money and Woody’s Truck stop, achieved much regional success. It was in the late 1960s, however, that Todd's searing guitar work reached a nationwide audience, in his role as lead guitarist for the blues-psychedelic band Nazz. he wrote and arranged almost all of the work that went into the three albums the group produced. Their music ranged from Southern blues to hard rock to heavily orchestrated symphonies. Nazz broke up in the early 1970s and Todd released two solo albums under the name of Runt. His first big solo success was in 1971 with "We Gotta Get You a Woman" and in 1973 from the double album "Something/Anything?" he scored big on the charts with "I Saw the Light" and a revision of a Nazz song, "Hello, It's Me." Perhaps the superstardom that seemed imminent at this time eluded Rundgren due to his reluctance to be pigeonholed into any single type of music. He still released albums with great love ballads, but they were also laced with heavy guitar rock, and occasionally mini rock operas. Rundgren has scored huge as a music producer, most notably on Meat Loaf's "Bat out of Hell" opus. In the late 1970s and through the 1980s Todd formed the group Utopia, each member an accomplished musician and vocalist. In recent years Rundgren has become a computer enthusiast, marketing many new innovations, some in conjunction with his music. He has also been called on by films and TV for his musical scores. Todd also maintains his own website.

IMDb Mini Biography By: Buxx Bannr

Spouse: Michele Gray

Trivia

Liv Tyler's stepfather.

He was with the rock group, "Utopia".

Co-inventor of the Flowfazer, a computer program that generates visual effects.

Several of his compositions, notably "Hello, It's Me", "I Saw the Light" and "Bang the Drum All Day", are standards known by bar bands across the USA.

Recorded and produced an album entitled "a cappella", which featured only his voice, processed through various electronic devices, to emulate various musical instruments.

Sons: Rex, Randy and Rebop.

Incorporates the song "Bang the Drum All Day" into his concerts, often when the audience is least expecting it.

Since moving to Hawaii, he has taught himself to play the ukulele, joking that "...if you're a musician, it's required by law".

His album "No World Order" has the songs linked together as two long mixes. Because many disk jockeys requested, he released an alternative version of the album, "No World Order - Lite", which has the same songs but mixed as separate tracks.

His album "With A Twist" (a nod to the "retro lounge" movement) features bossa nova versions of his most popular compositions.

Season 1, Episode 1 of "That 70's Show"(1998) known as "The '70s Pilot" AKA "Teenage Wasteland," features a plot revolving around Eric going to see a Todd Rundgren concert in Milwaukee. Two of Rundgren's songs are also featured in the episode, "I Saw the Light" and "Hello It's Me".

He presented the first live nationally broadcast stereo radio concert (by microwave), linking 40 cities around the country, in 1978.

His 1981 "Time Heals," video was the first music video to utilize state-of-the-art compositing of live action and computer graphics. Produced and directed by Rundgren, it became the second video to be played on MTV (after The Bugles' "Video Killed the Radio Star").

He gave the first live national cablecast of a rock concert in 1982, which aired on the USA Network. It was simulcast in stereo to over 120 radio stations.

His creation of the first color graphics tablet in 1980 was licensed to Apple Computers and released as "The Utopia Graphics Tablet."

In 1982 he produced the first two commercially released music videos, one of which was nominated for the first-ever Grammy awarded for Best Short Form Video in 1983.

In 1979 he opened Utopia Video Studios, a multi-million-dollar state-of-the-art facility. The first project produced by Todd there was Gustav Holst's "The Planets", commissioned by RCA Selecta Vision as the first demonstration software for its new videodisc format.

In 1978, he performed the first interactive television concert, broadcast live over the Warner/QUBE system in Columbus, Ohio (the home audience chose each song in real time during the concert by voting via QUBE's 2-way operating system).

BMI Million-Air Awards were also awarded to Rundgren for his other two Top 10 hit records, "I Saw The Light" and "Love Is The Answer".

Digital Hollywood Awards 1996 - Best Music CD-ROM for "The Individualist".

Best Composition Arrangement for "No World Order" from the Interactive Academy in 1994.

Well, this is not the best quality video, taken with my digital camera on Jan 30,2008 at The Magic Bag in Ferndale, Michigan (just outside Detroit). Todd Rundgren, headlining, finally, after years of my waiting in anticipation for his solo return to the stage.(He toured with The New Cars - I saw that show in Nov '06)
I had to move around - get closer to the stage - sing, dance, soak it up...so the video is a bit shaky and the sound is somewhat muffled, but true Todd fans will enjoy it anyway!

Pythia is in her cave

I am here...present...but not visible at the moment.
I have retreated to my cave and am floating in the amniotic waters...waiting to be conceived.
Quiet. Slow. Patient. Peaceful. Waiting.
This IS a new year in every way.

Looking Back . . . My Photo Montage

MY NEW YEAR'S PROJECT

Photo montage in and around Detroit, the suburbs and Michigan...featuring the Detroit River and Lakes Michigan, Huron and Saint Clair; urban decay and the regeneration and renaissance of Detroit; the cycles and seasons of life - from winter to winter.
The montage, set to the music of Moby, includes photos of my family, my friends, my city, my state...including: legendary bike-builder: Ron Finch; guitar great: Jim McCarty; WRIF Radio Host: Big Daddy Arthur P; Mike Fasano (drums) with Jani Lane in concert at "Pine Knob;" local artist: Chris Kime; local club DJ: Adam Lenk...
The montage also includes places and events: The "Renaissance Center;" The River Walk - celebrating Detroit's 300th Birthday; The Belle Isle Bridge; The 2007 Detroit Belle Isle Grand Prix; Alice Cooper playing to his home town crowd at the Michigan State Fair; popular vacation spots: Caseville, Frankfort and Traverse City; The Trowbridge House - The oldest house in Detroit (post fire); The oldest church - Saints Peter and Paul; Dr Bob's Innate Cafe and Center for Holistic Healing; Campus Martius at Christmas time; Greenfield Village...
"TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON. A time to plant...a time to heal...a time to die...a time to weep...a time to laugh...a time to dance...a time to LOVE..."
Rest in Peace with GOD: Diana J. Lenk (my beautiful, loving mom) and Steven Michael Smith (my gentle, kind son-in-law)
PS To Detroiters, some things shall remain carved in stone...Hudson's, The Renaissance Center, Pine Knob, Tiger Stadium...they may change the signs but never our memories.

All in a Morning's Day

Ok, so today I spent my morning caring for an ill Beta fish named Nemo. Technically, he is my grandson Nathan's pet fish, but Nemo has been in my care for about a year now. My daughter rescued him from a party as he was part of the table's centerpiece; swimming in a vase of flowers for everyone's amusement. I won't go there right now, but I was proud of her for rescuing him before the props were disassembled and packed away. That was three years ago. How long do these little Beta fish live?

We thought he was dying at Easter time. He lay, almost lifeless, at the bottom of the bowl, not interested in eating his breakfast nor in watching the comings and goings of our colorful and gigantic bodies as he usually did. We would stop to tap gently on his glass house to get him to move . . . we were checking for signs of life. We said some prayers around him. I put a few drops of holy water in his bowl and I even gave him a Reiki treatment. Soon he was his old bouncy self again. A Miracle!

Well, he has had a case of the icks lately . . . fin rot. I have been treating him for that, but the medicine has not healed him completely. I was about to try a stronger medicine today, but, after I changed his water and cleaned his bowl, then I put him in the new water, he would not leave the top. Betas can breathe the air at the top. I quickly re-changed the water, fearing the medication was too strong and therefore suffocating him. I continued observing him. He was still hanging, listlessly around the top gulping air.

I went online to look up Betas and Beta health problems. Along with fin rot, swim bladder and constipation are the three most common ailments, with swim bladder and constipation going hand-in-hand. The information provided suggested I do not feed him his Beta food for a day or two, but I was to peel and mush a couple of frozen or canned peas and see if I could tempt him to eat them. The high fiber would help unblock him. The 'pea' treatment is preferable to the good old-fashioned Epsom Salt bath, which should be my last option due the the extra stress it would create. Now remember, I am still referring to a little Beta fish here . . . not me.

Nemo did not go for the peas and I am going to hold off on the Epsom Salt bath and the medication for the time being. I'm praying that nature takes its course and within a day or two he will be pooping with the best of them. I'm praying for a Christmas miracle much like the Easter miracle.

(Don't doubt for a minute that a little fish won't steal your heart - Nemo actually has a personality, he comes to see me when I'm near his bowl and he bubbles with love. I love that little guy!)

So, that was my morning - diagnosing and treating a Beta fish named Nemo with constipation and swim bladder. Two nights ago, my friend rescued a cat that was trapped in her window well and she spent her afternoon at the Veterinarian's office. Tonight I'm going to rescue and treat myself . . . I'm meeting a friend for a drink. Salute!

Down with Santa! created by: StoveStomper on 12/23/03”

Definition of Precious

There are few events in life as precious and blessed as witnessing the sparkle of wonderment in a child's eyes.

My grandson, Nathan, is in his peak years of enchantment - he is eight years old. I don't think there is another time in one's life when the world is that magical, purely unprejudiced and openly awaiting discovery. A time when spider webs and fossil-like rocks are the coolest, most awesome finds; when superman ice cream is the best food in the world; and when press credentials bearing T.rex's photo - purchased at a souvenir kiosk - can grant our entrance into worlds beyond our imaginations.

About a week and a half ago, Nathan and I took a trip back in time . . . way back . . . about 250 million years.

We picked up our tickets at the window and a couple of hot dogs at the snack bar. We sat, eating while watching the clock. At 6:00 pm, we gathered some bottles of water and snacks in preparation for the journey ahead. With travel brochures in hand and our hearts thumping a little louder, we took our seats and waited. I took a couple of flash photos before our journey took us back to a time long before digital photography was invented.

Before long, most of the seats were taken up by anxious time-travelers such as ourselves. Strobe lights began flashing and a voice came over the loud speakers: "Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, please take your seats . . . will begin in ten minutes."

Nathan's face lit even up brighter and he turned to me, "Thank you, Gammy!!!!! Thank you so much! You're the best Gammy!"

I couldn't have been any higher with bliss then in that moment.

Before long, the first dinosaur of the Triassic Period came out from behind the huge teeth that acted as a portal between our two worlds.

The sounds of these magnificent and mysterious creatures, as well as their commanding and majestic presence, swallowed our senses whole. For one night, there was nothing else except Nathan, the dinosaurs and me. I was completely immersed in the present moment of an ancient past.

That was the night of 200 million years. That was night Nathan and I walked with dinosaurs.



Walking With Dinosaurs

The Corner in Between

Standing at the corner.

One foot left of it. One foot right of it. I can't stand here forever (not in this outfit, anyway). And I can't do the splits anymore (surely, not in these jeans). I've been down each of those roads . . . the Wall Street of it . . . the Broadway of it. Occasionally, I high kicked when I should have been trading up and I traded down when I should have been kicking high. Overall, I did most things right. I played the game according to the rules.

But the lights are still brighter on Broadway . . . that is, if I can afford to pay the increasing electric bill.

Ahhhh, the starving artist. Ahhhh, the tortured artist. I'm over it. And as for the high stakes and fast pace of the Wall Street society; that wall keeps getting higher and higher and I don't want to be anther brick in the wall.

So, basically, my left brain is watching me starve while my right brain is drawing pictures of figs and sushi and tomatoes and Gouda cheese . . . you know, healthy food for the soul.

What's next? Is this all there is? What's my third option?

PS Thank you friends and readers. Thanks for your patience. This upheaval has left me without internet for the time being.

Nesting Before Flight

My son Adam, as he was lifting one end of my huge, heavy sofa bed out of the U-haul said to me:

"Mom, I hope your next house is the house I'll bring your grandchildren to visit you."

Of course it won't be. I am not like most of my family. I am like my dad's sister, Wanda. My mom used to joke that she wrote my Aunt Wanda's phone number in pencil rather than pen in her address book. (I think those books are all but obsolete these days.) I used to get excited to see what new, great apartment she had found. One of my favorites was a loft-like place; there was one big bedroom upstairs that overlooked the living room and as a young girl I thought that was so cool. I'm sure her brothers were not as impressed with the floor plans. In fact, I'm sure they thought she was a bit flighty for moving around so much, but I understand. She is flighty and so am I . . . if flighty refers to birds.

You see, I have realized that, although there are many different types of people in this world, we can be put into two major categories: trees and birds. Of the trees there are many kinds: oaks, figs, olive, apple, maple, lemon, palm, weeping willow, pine, etc . . . . Of the birds there are many kinds: doves, ravens, owls, chickens, eagles, hawks, peacocks, sparrow, crow, etc . . . I have come to learn that I am a bird like my Aunt Wanda. I am still discovering what kind of bird I am.

Trees root, for they need to root deeply if they are to survive and thrive. Trees depend on their location - rain to supply water and soil to supply nourishment. They have all they need within their reach. Occasionally, trees may uproot and move to another location. But there is always a plan, a time-line and they re-root quickly. I love trees and I have great respect for their strength and beauty in their constancy. They teach us that we each have an important part in an intricate system, even though we may not be able to see the entirety of the forest beyond us. Trees provide shelter for birds to nest and take rest. Trees provide fruit for birds to eat. Trees bend allowing the wind to pass by. Sometimes they break under the stress of the storm. But, even a dead tree gives. It either remains a skeletal sculpture of art against the horizon or it is lumbered for many other uses. Trees represent life . . . the tree of life.
Psalm 1:3 He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.

And then there are the birds. Birds are creatures of flight. Occasionally gliding effortlessly through the air while resting their wings . . . going with the flow of the breeze. . . riding on the wings of something much bigger - faith. There comes many a time when birds must use every bit of stored energy to fly against the wind, to weather the storms, to watch for predators, to look for shelter. A bird's life is both agile and fragile at the same time. They build their nests, raise their young, teach their young to fly off and be independent . . . and then they migrate - fly off to a new, sometimes sunnier location and nest again. Birds provide stories for trees to hold onto. Birds are scouts. Birds are messengers - for it was a bird, first a raven, then a dove, that Noah sent out to check if the storm had passed. Birds remind us to keep the faith. Birds represent the big picture. Birds are watched.
Matthew 6:26 "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them . . .

Trees root. Birds nest. I always tried to be a tree, thought of myself as an oak, but I discovered I am a bird . . . I am somewhere between a blue jay and a crow
And I am finally at peace with that.

Photo image by: Russ Hansen

A note of interest: Birds should never own sofa beds. Sofa beds should never be uprooted!

After writing this, I did some research on the internet and came up with some fun ideas about my Tree/Bird theory . . .

BIRD SPIRITS
Blackbird - Understanding energies of mother earth, insight, vitality
Bluebird - Modesty, confidence, happiness, plaintive song
Blue Jay - Proper use of power, adaptability, fearless, resoursefullness
Canary - Power of song, voice, sensitive
Cardinal - Vitality, recognizing self importance, camouflage
Crow - Mystic, secret magic of creation, intelligence
Dove - Feminine energies of peace, maturity, maternity, prophecy
Duck - Emotional comfort and protection, affection
Eagle - Illumination of spirit, healing, creation, spiritual power, vision, wisdom, connection with the divine
Finch - Song, energy of variety and multiplicity
Flicker - New rhythm of growth and healing power, love, balance
Goldfinch - Awakening to the nature spirits
Goose - Vision quest, travel, new adventure, fertility, communication
Grouse - Sacred dancing & drumming, creation, energy, protective
Hawk - Visionary power, guardian, messenger, leads to lifeÕs purpose
Heron - Aggressive self determination and self reliance, balance, wisdom
Hummingbird - Tireless joy and happiness, the nectar of life, healing, strength
Magpie - Proper use of intelligence, occult knowledge, adaptability
Meadowlark - Cheerful journey inward, sublimation, imagination, courageous
Mockingbird - Finding your sacred songs, recognition of your innate abilities
Owl - Mystery of magic, omens, silent wisdom, visions
Parrot - Sunshine and color healing, mimics
Peacock - Resurrection, watchfulness, protective, wisdom
Penguin - Lucid dreaming, out of body experiences, creative energy
Pheasant - Family, fertility and sexuality
Pigeon - Return to the love & security of home, fertility
Quail - Group nourishment and protection, ability, fertility, spot danger
Raven - Magic, creation, shape shifting, vocalizing, playfulness
Road Runner - Mental speed and agility, running
Robin - Spread of new growth, song energy
Sparrow - Awakening, triumph of common nobility, ability to multiply
Stork - Birth and unspoken communication, dance, protective
Swallow - Protection & warmth for home & proper perspective
Swan - True beauty, sensitive, powerful, grace
Turkey - Shared blessings, harvest, energy, sharing
Vulture - Purification, death, rebirth, new vision
Waxwing - Gentleness and courtesy, polite
Woodpecker - Power of rhythm and discrimination, new inner rhythms
Wren - Resourcefulness and boldness, medicine for own environment

What Tree Did You Fall From?

Find your birthday and its corresponding tree.
Then, see the meaning behind it below. Do you recognize yourself?

Dec 23 to Jan 01	Apple Tree
Jan 02 to Jan 11	Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24	Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03	Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08	Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18	Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28	Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10	Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20	Lime Tree
Mar 21	Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31	Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10	Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20	Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30	Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14	Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24	Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03	Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13	Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23	Fig Tree
Jun 24	Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04	Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14	Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25	Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04	Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13	Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23	Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02	Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12	Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22	Lime Tree
Sep 23	Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03	Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13	Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23	Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11	Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21	Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01	Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11	Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21	Fig Tree
Dec 22	Beech Tree

APPLE TREE (the Love) - of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

ASH TREE (the Ambition) - uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.

BEECH TREE (the Creative) - has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)

BIRCH TREE (the inspiration) - vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

CEDAR TREE (the Confidence) - of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

CHESTNUT TREE (the Honesty) - of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.

CYPRESS TREE (the Faithfulness) - strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, content, optimistic, craves money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and careless.

ELM TREE (the Noble-mindedness) - pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

FIG TREE (the Sensibility) - very strong, a bit self-willed, independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.

FIR TREE (the Mysterious) - extraordinary taste, dignity, sophisticated, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious, discontented lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.

HAZELNUT TREE (the Extraordinary) - charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.

HORNBEAM TREE (the Good Taste) - of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

LIME TREE (the Doubt) - accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.

MAPLE TREE (Independence of Mind) - no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

OAK TREE (the Brave) - robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

OLIVE TREE (the Wisdom) - loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

PINE TREE (the Particular) - loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.

POPLAR TREE (the Uncertainty) - looks very decorative, not very self-confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

ROWAN TREE (the Sensitivity) - full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

WALNUT TREE (the Passion) - unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

WEEPING WILLOW (the Melancholy) - beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.

Celtic tree meanings

The Rowan
Protects against enchantment. Magical Associations: Healing, personal empowerment, divination.

The Ash
of the Ogham alphabet is the Cosmic Ash, or World Tree. Magical Associations: Prosperity, protection, healing.

The Alder
magical associations: Spirituality, teaching, weather magic, duty, mental prowess.

The Willow
in the Tree alphabet stands for the female and lunar rhythms of life. Magickal Associations: Romantic love, healing, protection, fertility, magic for women.

Hawthorn
Magical Associations: Fertility, peace, prosperity, binding.

Oak
Magical Associations: All positive purposes, magic for men, fidelity.

The Holly
symbolizes paternity and fatherhood, has always been regarded as a potent life symbol. Magical Associations: Protection, prophecy, magic for animals, sex magic.

Hazel
Salmon are associated with the Hazel in Irish legend. The Hazel is also strongly associated with meditation and mediation. Magical Associations: Manifestation, spirit contact, protection, fertility.

The Vine
Magical Associations: Fertility, inspiration, prosperity, binding.

The Ivy
puts you in touch with your own inner resources, giving you the ability to see through the eyes of the soul beyond the everyday world. Magical Associations: Healing, protection, cooperation, exorcism

Reed
Magical Associations: Fertility, protection, love, family concerns.

The Elder
is linked to the eternal turnings of life and death, birth and rebirth. Magickal Associations: Exorcism, prosperity, banishing, healing.

The Birch
This tree starts the Celtic tree calendar, and so represents the energies associated with new beginnings. Magical Associations: Protection of children, purification, creation.

What kind of bird are you? Owl Like the wise owl, you are a night person and love knowledge.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Ok, so maybe I just don't know what kind of bird I truly am!