Monday, November 19, 2007

Non-Members Only, Please

The Smoking Redhead Club - I am not a welcome member. Need I be sad? I am a brunette now. I'm sure there's a club for (non-smoking) brunettes out there. Or, I could apply to redhead club, after a trip to the salon or the Clairol aisle of my local drug store. But for what? Comradeship? Sounds too Communistic for me. Respect? No, respect is earned not learned. Acceptance? Friendship? Popularity? Because of the color of my hair? Sounds too conditional and inconsistent for me. Too insincere. Then why? Power in numbers? I own my own power. Protection from the blondes? The only protection I really need is from a group's group mentality. Cool by association? As for coolness - well, much like class, 'coolness' can only be achieved going solo . . . being an individual. Most guys wanted to be like the "Fonz," but the "Fonz" did not want to be like anyone else or belong to anyone but himself. Most women wanted to imitate Audry Hepburn's class and savoir faire, but Ms. Hepburn imitated no one. She was her own woman.

I dislike groups, clubs, cliques (an informal and/or restricted social group formed by people who share common interests or patterns of behavior). I am seriously scared by anything resembling mass mentality, especially when the common denominator is hatred (aka misunderstanding) towards another group or individual, which is the case with most groups (though it it well hidden - i.e. the going to heaven club versus the everyone else is going to hell club - although the fear induced latter of the two is the real glue that binds)

I remember how my children would ban together and help each other clean up as long as they had one angry thing in common: being upset with me. They appeared cooperative, helpful and productive among themselves when they formed the "mom's mean" club. They felt safe within the group - safe from being singled out or held accountable for their individual behavior by being punished or rewarded. But, the group mentality was not as strong when the commonality was based on a
positive / good goal such as a trip to the ice cream parlor if they worked together to clean up after themselves. Eventually, two of them would point fingers and blame the third for not doing his or her fair share. A sub-group was formed based on blame and the third was sold out for the 'good' of the group. Goodness and fairness seemed to segment the group while anger made them stronger.

So, it sounds like groups with a common dislike for someone/something is actually a good thing. I guess it is from the view point of society and government and religion. Think about it. As a mother, I admit, I used the
mom's mean club to my own advantage. Their bedrooms got cleaned up and no one bothered me, the mean mom, in the meantime. And, I did not need to buy any ice cream.

I suppose there are some groups that will never gain popularity, like Posers Anonymous


the walking man said...

If you can't go your own way then it is better to just sit and watch others going theirs. At least you'd belong to the sitter and watcher club.

What is the purpose of belongong to someone else's way of thought anyway, never got that part of it all.



eric1313 said...

Of course you belong to your own class, Lindy.

We all are our own nation of one.

And hair color is the last thing that decides that. If you belong to any one group it's to the enlightened beings of this planet. Not an overly large group, but hey, we have a lot of hope for the growth of this group. And me? I'm still learning the rules to that! I'm not very good at it, but I'm trying. I really am.

Thanks for the well-wishes--it means a lot. I'm off to Detroit right now to visit with my aunt at Bon Secours. You and a lot of people around the world have sent so many good vibes that the we should all be living in tranquility. I hope to see that happen. Thank you and talk to you later.

eric1313 said...

And that Smoking Redhead picture is so awesome! I love that. Oh, and of course you can copy that picture of the moth by the candle at my blog. By all means.

Pythia3 said...

Thanks for stopping by, Mark. I know as a people we are classified and labeled and put into groups by those who have a group mentality...I guess small minds need to be organized / compartmentalized in such a way as to make the best use of the limited space.LOL

Eric, yeah, isn't that a cool picture! I was very tempted to join. LOL See how the demons work. They know our weaknesses and BAM!
Thanks for the moth picture - I will write about one day. I have been collecting pictures for inspiration. Isn't it such a beautiful thing that art and beauty breeds more art and beauty? Someone writes a great song (probably inspired by painting, an artist, an emotion...) and that song in turn inspires a poem which inspires a's like water...ever changing shapes but remaining the same from the beginning of its existence...and for all eternity.
xo Bon Secours - Beaumont Hospital? About a mile from me :)
Best to you and Aunt Theresa

Brian in Mpls said...

I am in book club and bar of the month club...the only two groups I have ever found that I am excited to be a part of

Jon said...

So that's why you didn't show up last Thursday!? You didn't want to visit the Grumpy Old Writers club? Hell, and I had Billville all printed up for you.

maleah said...

As an observer of people in general, I really enjoyed reading this. As an awful member of any club, I enjoyed reading this. As a mom, I enjoyed reading this. I have cut off most of my hair and that in itself seems to send out a message all it's own about what hair club I belong to as a woman, nevermind the color. And it is true, a common enemy always seems to unite like no common goal can.

Oh, and I am the mean kind of mom who hides ice cream in the freezer and eats it while they clean their rooms.

eric1313 said...

The demons are always whispering things of beauty to us. And they sound so great until we put it into practice. Only then do many people finally see the ugliness in those sweet whispered words.

At least we can finally achieve the wisdom necessary to know the difference, and not go with the impulses and lies.

I'm still waiting on my share of the wisdom, but I know it come with experience; all I have to do is listen to a few more sweet whispers from the shadows, and one day I'll know what not to hear.

Yeah, she was released last night, but she'll have to go back soon. Thank you for the kindness, Lindy. You'll reap the karma of this, for certain. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving--I'll be back for that, too, tomorrow. Take care and write like a moth's love of the flame--hot, bright and dangerous.

Erik Donald France said...

"dislike groups, clubs, cliques" -- touche. Critical distance is needed. Usually, groups -- like lynch mobs -- pander to the lowest common denominator and the ugliest people. This is why I tend to avoid them where possible.

Michelle's Spell said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Lindy! Here's to a new hair color and not joining anything!

Kate S said...

Great post, Lindy. (Of course, since I really went a darker red than is my natural reddish tint, I kinda liked that pic, even though I belong more to the "old ladies with burgandy hair club" lol)

I'm going to make sure my daughter reads this one, even though she is pretty much her own person. But she does love Audrey Hepburn and this was a great line: "Most women wanted to imitate Audry Hepburn's class and savoir faire, but Ms. Hepburn imitated no one. She was her own woman."

Laughed out loud at the "Mom is Mean" club. Moms are allowed to use whatever works. Our arsenals are huge and diverse. :)

The shame of it is that politician's arsenals are too.